internet strangers
Internet strangers know more about me than some of my very good friends.
Now does this suggest that I am not particularly close to my friends, or that I'm extremely open with internet strangers? Really it's a bit of both.
When I say internet stranger, I mean just that, an anonymous, totally disconnected person from me. It's not somebody I could ever feasibly expect to meet in person because they don't know my name and I don't know theirs, similarly for where they are, what they do, and so forth. I only know as much as they put forth to me, and similarly they only know about me as much as I put forward for them to read.
I once kept a "secret" blog that I'd fill with me venting, but never told anybody I know about it. As far as I know, the only links in to it were from the recently updated section. In spite of this extremely low accessibility, the hit counter told me people were reading. Not many, and not often, but they were there. And a couple of them left comments for me, which prompted me to leave comments for them. On that blog, I said things I never could or would say on a blog like this one. When I created an aim account to talk with them continuing this alter-me, who is in every way me except in name, they'd be privy to far more private thoughts.
It's not really anything new. Though I'm not certain, it's a sentiment I know is shared among a bunch of people I know: total strangers are easy to confide in.
From time to time, we still say hello to each other on AIM and still nobody knows anything necessarily real at all about each other. I guess this might come across as very strange to some, but having an outlet like this has been invaluable in keeping me sane.
So that's why I liked it better when you were still an internet stranger. I didn't feel quite as restrained. Say what you will, but half of those people on the right are people I rarely see in person any more because they're in other states. And the other half, that is, other students here, are people I can't say I ever really knew too well. So while I feel slightly less concerned about saying things I'll regret, it's only a matter of time before more people I know click that link in my aim profile.
I'm not really thinking this through very much, and it seems kind of counterintuitive to me that as I get to know people, I simultaneously allow them to know more about me, and distance myself further. Only after a very long time do I seem to really let down my guard. Paranoia and skepticism at times rule my social life.
Now does this suggest that I am not particularly close to my friends, or that I'm extremely open with internet strangers? Really it's a bit of both.
When I say internet stranger, I mean just that, an anonymous, totally disconnected person from me. It's not somebody I could ever feasibly expect to meet in person because they don't know my name and I don't know theirs, similarly for where they are, what they do, and so forth. I only know as much as they put forth to me, and similarly they only know about me as much as I put forward for them to read.
I once kept a "secret" blog that I'd fill with me venting, but never told anybody I know about it. As far as I know, the only links in to it were from the recently updated section. In spite of this extremely low accessibility, the hit counter told me people were reading. Not many, and not often, but they were there. And a couple of them left comments for me, which prompted me to leave comments for them. On that blog, I said things I never could or would say on a blog like this one. When I created an aim account to talk with them continuing this alter-me, who is in every way me except in name, they'd be privy to far more private thoughts.
It's not really anything new. Though I'm not certain, it's a sentiment I know is shared among a bunch of people I know: total strangers are easy to confide in.
From time to time, we still say hello to each other on AIM and still nobody knows anything necessarily real at all about each other. I guess this might come across as very strange to some, but having an outlet like this has been invaluable in keeping me sane.
So that's why I liked it better when you were still an internet stranger. I didn't feel quite as restrained. Say what you will, but half of those people on the right are people I rarely see in person any more because they're in other states. And the other half, that is, other students here, are people I can't say I ever really knew too well. So while I feel slightly less concerned about saying things I'll regret, it's only a matter of time before more people I know click that link in my aim profile.
I'm not really thinking this through very much, and it seems kind of counterintuitive to me that as I get to know people, I simultaneously allow them to know more about me, and distance myself further. Only after a very long time do I seem to really let down my guard. Paranoia and skepticism at times rule my social life.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home