love and custard, in two parts
Part I: What I wrote on a piece of paper the other day: Thursday, October 13, 2005.
As it seems most everybody who knows me, knows, I've been planning to try and make crème brûlée. The other day, one such person asked me if crème brûlée was hard to make, because it always sounded so fancy to them. Another person, also present, interjected before I had my own chance to respond that I've never done it yet, that custards are usually pretty easy, as they're just eggs, cream, sugar, and lots of 'love'. I asked what exactly that was supposed to mean. I had been under the impression that crème brûlée, at least, was actually quite forgiving of cooking fuckups, throughout the process. That is, if the yolk/cream ratio isn't really exact, no big deal, if you make a little mistake tempering, oh well, just strain well anyway, cooked too long? Whoops, a little too hard then. None of these errors should render crème brûlée particularly less tasty. They replied something about how being especially loving would yield better custards, in general. I conceded the point because I had no idea what I would be arguing if I decided to be more contentious.
So instead, I decided to be contentious in private, much later, to the page instead of their face.
But to continue, I don't think "love" has anything to do with it. I mean, maybe our notions of love with regard to cooking greatly differ. I think perhaps their notion of love in cooking is my notion of simply being prepared and following directions well. Cooking is not an exact science, I feel, but more an imprecise and delicious one. Some recipes are obviously more tolerant of error than others, but it does not take absolute and meticulous measurement and execution to make delicious things. I don't consider myself the creative type really, but a tolerance for mistakes and improvising around them is something that even if I don't demonstrate in the rest of my life, I like to think I do in the kitchen. Of course, when one is as bad at getting things done right as I seem to be, one would have to be pretty tolerant of errors by now.
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Part II: New remarks: present
Well it's a good thing I stopped before I got carried away with self-loathing.
I think my perspective has changed greatly since Thursday. Having now actually attempted making crème brûlée, though not yet finished (haven't caramelized sugar or eaten it yet... gotta do that soon though), and also having read more and talked more with my sister about making crème brûlée, there's a lot I didn't really think about before.
It's mostly a matter of personal preference, when it comes to flavor, and in terms of selecting proportions of eggs, vanilla, sugar and so forth. Having never made it before, nor having anything to compare against, and not even having tasted this batch, I can't say whether or not I like how this turned out, but, I imagine if I wanted something else, I'd be better equipped now with the knowledge of what to change to achieve that goal.
However, where the so-called 'love' comes in is the actual mixing of the components. If I were really exacting and careful, or willing to put in more time doing tedious things like really really really seperating the yolks from the whites or skimming off the foam in the bowl before pouring into ramekins or whatever, it might make some slight difference in the ultimate texture of the dish. I guess the ideal is some extremely smooth, silky texture, whereas neglect or error will lead to something harder, denser, clumpier, or generally less exquisite by some arbitrary standard. A person with a lot of love, or patience, whatever you want to call it, might do these things better. Having only read about these things after I had put my own into the oven, these hadn't even crossed my mind, though looking back, I don't think I would have had much patience for some of these things anyway. I mean, I seperated the yolks and whites pretty well, but not perfectly. Skimming foam off the top was troublesome enough when I was just correcting a slip of the hand while straining. And so forth. Maybe when I'm trying to improve over this batch, I'll look back and think what I could have done better, but at present, I don't think I would have done much differently even if I had known beforehand because I lacked the motivation for patience.
I'm not sure where I am going with this, however, people should come eat this crème brûlée. Call me first to see there's any left though. Yes, apparently my phone has resumed working.
As it seems most everybody who knows me, knows, I've been planning to try and make crème brûlée. The other day, one such person asked me if crème brûlée was hard to make, because it always sounded so fancy to them. Another person, also present, interjected before I had my own chance to respond that I've never done it yet, that custards are usually pretty easy, as they're just eggs, cream, sugar, and lots of 'love'. I asked what exactly that was supposed to mean. I had been under the impression that crème brûlée, at least, was actually quite forgiving of cooking fuckups, throughout the process. That is, if the yolk/cream ratio isn't really exact, no big deal, if you make a little mistake tempering, oh well, just strain well anyway, cooked too long? Whoops, a little too hard then. None of these errors should render crème brûlée particularly less tasty. They replied something about how being especially loving would yield better custards, in general. I conceded the point because I had no idea what I would be arguing if I decided to be more contentious.
So instead, I decided to be contentious in private, much later, to the page instead of their face.
But to continue, I don't think "love" has anything to do with it. I mean, maybe our notions of love with regard to cooking greatly differ. I think perhaps their notion of love in cooking is my notion of simply being prepared and following directions well. Cooking is not an exact science, I feel, but more an imprecise and delicious one. Some recipes are obviously more tolerant of error than others, but it does not take absolute and meticulous measurement and execution to make delicious things. I don't consider myself the creative type really, but a tolerance for mistakes and improvising around them is something that even if I don't demonstrate in the rest of my life, I like to think I do in the kitchen. Of course, when one is as bad at getting things done right as I seem to be, one would have to be pretty tolerant of errors by now.
-----
Part II: New remarks: present
Well it's a good thing I stopped before I got carried away with self-loathing.
I think my perspective has changed greatly since Thursday. Having now actually attempted making crème brûlée, though not yet finished (haven't caramelized sugar or eaten it yet... gotta do that soon though), and also having read more and talked more with my sister about making crème brûlée, there's a lot I didn't really think about before.
It's mostly a matter of personal preference, when it comes to flavor, and in terms of selecting proportions of eggs, vanilla, sugar and so forth. Having never made it before, nor having anything to compare against, and not even having tasted this batch, I can't say whether or not I like how this turned out, but, I imagine if I wanted something else, I'd be better equipped now with the knowledge of what to change to achieve that goal.
However, where the so-called 'love' comes in is the actual mixing of the components. If I were really exacting and careful, or willing to put in more time doing tedious things like really really really seperating the yolks from the whites or skimming off the foam in the bowl before pouring into ramekins or whatever, it might make some slight difference in the ultimate texture of the dish. I guess the ideal is some extremely smooth, silky texture, whereas neglect or error will lead to something harder, denser, clumpier, or generally less exquisite by some arbitrary standard. A person with a lot of love, or patience, whatever you want to call it, might do these things better. Having only read about these things after I had put my own into the oven, these hadn't even crossed my mind, though looking back, I don't think I would have had much patience for some of these things anyway. I mean, I seperated the yolks and whites pretty well, but not perfectly. Skimming foam off the top was troublesome enough when I was just correcting a slip of the hand while straining. And so forth. Maybe when I'm trying to improve over this batch, I'll look back and think what I could have done better, but at present, I don't think I would have done much differently even if I had known beforehand because I lacked the motivation for patience.
I'm not sure where I am going with this, however, people should come eat this crème brûlée. Call me first to see there's any left though. Yes, apparently my phone has resumed working.
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